Joshua Cactus

After many days and nights of strategic planning and careful execution (some might call it Chuzpa, stubborn or even plain dumb) the interview for this fab new job is coming up. Passed the recruiter with the silver hair ("sorry darling you need more LOCAL experience"), the ever so busy assistant and the always full schedule of the big boss and now its time to impress and be brilliant yet humble, friendly yet professional. Time to give your best shot. Alas, the boss is a conservative guy, he has the cross and manners to show for it, he's got a wall full of photos of well groomed kids and smiling wife in a non-revealing attire, he is a the great American Family Man, and he is about to ask you about yours. Hmmm, problemo. I don't have kids (a small dog doesn't count with traditional types), my wife is a husband and I do not go to PTA meetings. Forget about a favorite sports team (unless you count Project Runway) or trips to Disney Land (again, gay days doesn't co...

The quest for the American dream took a positive turn this week as two career paths are opening up. One with a large hospital, one with a small start-up company. Both seem interested, both are willing to sponsor my visa, both have great people but they go in opposite directions. Going with the small company means taking a head plunge to the business world, leaving behind any patient contact. With the hospital it is another stage in a large institution, limited by corporate ladders and red-tape but safe in my journey. My boss was helpful and friendly when I told him of these options. He even suggested his help. Is there a turn of events with him? Maybe all that hard work is paying off. Surpressing my immediate need for celebratory shopping I tracked home through the cold bright streets of Manhattan. Oof.

Took me two months to get back here. Mostly due to re-adjusting to life with a partner. We had to draw the lines of privacy, to overcome drama, to make lots of love, to hate, to make up. Now that I know he is reading this blog I feel different about writing, but we have removed so many barriers in the last few months that it feels safe again to write. So, it's winter in the big apple. The streets are frozen, people run around frantically to the nearest Starbucks (and there is one on every corner), and life has changed it's pace. Work is comfortable, the dismays of September are gone, there is a feeling of collaboration and finally even friendship. I am out of every imaginable closet, at work, at home, on the streets of Manhattan. The major issue looming ahead is next year. Will we go back home to Tel Aviv? We both want to stay here and try to live the American Dream. But it ain't easy. I am busy networking and interviewing with all sorts of places while keeping an ever acce...

One thing is sure about New York, you never know what's around the corner. The last few days were a live demonstration. At work, got an amazing offer from a private company that is willing to double my salary and sponsor an H1 visa if I will join. It's a new company, full of promise, but not a shaky start-up but already holding a very impressive client base. It's also focused on cutting-edge almost futuristic technology that is para-medical yet flexible. Tempting. Next week I'll meet the CEO for dinner and we'll see how things develop. On the personal level met a sexy cute and smart guy who although knowing I have a partner has given himself completely to a steamy affair that rocked the sheets. Ooof. The roller coaster is moving so fast. Also made a few new very promising friends not far from my home mates. Starting to feel more and more at home here. This train is moving so fast I got to hold on tight and hope things are steering at the right direction. It's i...

The big talk with my boss finally arrived. He called me to his office to "catch-up", a term he uses often for those times when he is about to probe into the time usage habits of his loyal subjects. Are we serving the greater good in every wake moment? We started of with some routine work chit-chat, how's that project going and what did you think of this interesting patient. The casual clinic talk. After a while when I got up to leave he asked me to shut the door and stay a few more minutes. With sweaty palms and slight arrhythmia I sat down expecting the worse. Will he kick me out? Will this be the end of my American dream? He started by giving me a glaring look and then went into a short lecture about the Israeli "Cowboy" culture and how he essentially like the free innovative spirit of a free-lancer but this time it went way too far. With frequent use of Western movie terms and the phrase "leaping to the unknown" he basically called me a trigger happ...

The last few days were absolutely horrible at work. I overlooked something while analysing a critical clinical database and that resulted in a major mess that required the work of many people deep into the nights and the weekend to correct. A stupid mistake of a trigger-happy newbie . The extra work and tense atmosphere brought about some ugly confrontations with some colleagues and from a shiny fresh face I was instantly turned to the departmental boxing bag. My boss which went well beyond the expected in smoothing the transition to NY and had an open door for me whenever needed suddenly defers to short commanding emails and brief frowns. I am doing my best to amend things, the first in the office and the last to leave every day. I worked on the weekend and cut my breaks to the minimal needed (still got to have a cig here and then). Lucky enough the IT people found a back up and were able to repair the damage, but man how much shit am I eating now. All for a stupid mistake, an o...

Writing is a sort of an addiction, and I am an easy fool for addictions. I am addicted to the wonders of men, to the soft smooth touch of a cool beer, to a breezy cigarette. I tried not blogging and the bug of writing kept nagging at me. Readers emails and comments helped too. Its a real ego soother to know you have some fans. Even if they are scattered in all corners of the globe and have little in common. Even if they don't know who you really are. So two months in the big apple have passed by. Maybe a better term would be flew by. All these cliches about time are so true when one new experience follows the other. Work, work was a breeze at first and now became a major player in my daily life. The casual and carefree Israeli attitude that assumes everything will fall into place and a charming smile will get you out of any trouble does not seem to work in the disciplined and very bureaucratic institute that opened its doors to me. Those great ivory doors that seemed all shiny at f...