Post Frisco

Back to Gotham after a long weekend in San Francisco. The official reason was a conference but we managed to shove some major sights and long nights to the stew. This weekend was about reconnecting, finding back our romantic loving selves, almost a salvage mission. Did it work? no clear answer. Some moments were amazing, exciting, embracing. Others were tense, wicked, almost nasty. It's like there are four people in this relationship, two of me and two of him (JC+, JC- and R+, R-). The resulting matrix is a complex combination of explosive love and vicious hurt. When one of us is loving and needing, the other is not necessarily playing the same role and these moments of of JC+/R- or vice versa are tough to handle. Scars are created each time and the worst possible combo of JC-/R- tends to come up more and more often. We talked about therapy, both individual and as a couple, maybe the answer lies there, maybe not. Crossing into our third year together the similarities that once united us are not as clear and the friction points are intensified. Living in our small condo isolated from family and homeland adds another dimension and makes most choices very dramatic and long reaching. For the first time in my life, a real personal conundrum. Perhaps we are just two drama queens who thrive on this roller coaster? Love, lust and attraction are definitely there but what about the rest?