Joshua Cactus

Today Mr Winter arrived in the city. The temperature hit new lows, the rain dropped little knives to every nook and cranny and for a short while fluffy white flakes graced the sidewalks. We braved the elements and made all sorts of funky arrangements and chores. Today's special was a surprise visit to the Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT to us queers folk). As part of a new "Discover New York and surprise your spouse" plan I have secretly developed in the dark labs of Hells' Kitchen. The plan is simple, at least once a week one of us will pick a spot in Gotham and take his metaphorically blind folded husband there. The definitions are very relaxed, any place will do as long as its interesting, new and hopefully does not involve buying shoes or Apple products. FIT did well.

Alegria was back in town last night. The legendary line by Ric Sena was hosted at Webster Hall in midtown. As a happy veteran of Alegria in it's Crawbar days I got the tix, rallied my buddies and headed to the party excpecting the heavy sexy atmosphere of a multitude of built sweaty bodies and the great sounds that make a night to remember. Boy was it a dissappointment! Ok, 70$ a ticket I can live with. Lots of preps go into such a night. But what did we get for that? Webster Hall has many rooms and levels promising an exciting venue but only a few of them were used, the rest were corded and guarded by uniforms (not the sexy type uniform but the MTA types that make sure you don't skip the lines at the subway). Same uniformed guards kept moving through the crowd making sure no one was offending some hard core Red neck values: No smooching, no too much touching, no venturing into dark alcoves, no cigarettes, no, no, no... Drinks were expensive and the bar lines just plain pushy,...

Took me two months to get back here. Mostly due to re-adjusting to life with a partner. We had to draw the lines of privacy, to overcome drama, to make lots of love, to hate, to make up. Now that I know he is reading this blog I feel different about writing, but we have removed so many barriers in the last few months that it feels safe again to write. So, it's winter in the big apple. The streets are frozen, people run around frantically to the nearest Starbucks (and there is one on every corner), and life has changed it's pace. Work is comfortable, the dismays of September are gone, there is a feeling of collaboration and finally even friendship. I am out of every imaginable closet, at work, at home, on the streets of Manhattan. The major issue looming ahead is next year. Will we go back home to Tel Aviv? We both want to stay here and try to live the American Dream. But it ain't easy. I am busy networking and interviewing with all sorts of places while keeping an ever acce...

Occasionally New York brings on a new form of entertainment that makes me laugh hysterically and then realize it is kinda sexy. That what happened when I met my first drag queen in 1992 while visiting here, the first strip show, the first (and only I confess) foot fetish party. Here is another recent sample. There guys are fabulous and they recently performed at Splash. It is the end of the twink menu?

Traffic jams everywhere. Police and dogs and hunky guys in shades talking to tiny mikes embedded in their ears. The UN general assembly is in town! And among those 160 world leaders stands apart the evil baron of Iran. Only 20 blocks from my apartment he is spewing his garbage. Yuck. A short counter-video attached.

Been many many years since I had a Yom Kippur outside Israel. Although New York is a very Jewish city in many ways it was a very different experience. My Jewish friends, all great admirers of a handsome guy in a tight shirt, have suddenly become pious almost orthodox saints. All the talk was about fasting techniques and fabulous post Kippur dinners. The non-Jewish ones were mostly oblivious with the occasional "mention me if you get to speak to God this weekend". Friday afternoon as I was heading home (earlier then usual, there are some benefits to holidays) the shuttle bus was stopped by crowds gathering on Lex Ave and looking very excited. As we slowly crept forward in the backed-up traffic I got a glimpse of the famous Sex-and-the-City trio: Carrie , Miranda and Charlotte posing in front of a glamorous store for the filming of the upcoming movie . Before moving to NY I watched this show carefully trying to learn the ways of the locals. Turns out life here are crazier ...

Everyone needs a mentor. I got one. He is smart, seasoned (that how you say old these days I think), worldly, beyond plain rich and has an open door for me even with a global hectic schedule (his not mine...). Today we met again in his towering New York office. It's a once-twice a year event that takes place in all corners of the world depending on our current locations. Told him about my life in this mad city, about the challenges of work, the roller-coaster days and nights. Told him of my new carrier ideas, of thinking of taking a new route in life. As always he didn't make judgment, didn't say what is right or wrong, just gave me a piercing look and asked me to take my time. Answers will come and many opportunities will knock. Just take your time. We have met many years ago when as a college student I received a scholarship given by him to an Israeli that will attend that specific program. Ever since he was a presence and a gentle guide in this cactus' stormy journ...

After many nights cooped up in the apartment, frantically trying to catch up with an insane amount of work I finally went out for a good old bar hoppin' night at the big apple. Hells' kitchen, a.k.a the new Chelsea, is crowded and over stylish for this thorny cactus. A few hours in a hip mid-town bar were more then enough and with a few good buddies I headed to my natural habitat, the East Village. The little streets and allies are the closest you get to Tel Aviv here. All sorts of types and a multi sexual crowd prowling the hood. We ended up at Eastern Bloc , a funky mix of old soviet memorabilia, hot sexy bartenders and stoned pole dancers. The crowed was great, the music a strange mix of 90's disco with newer house thumpa-thumpa. Drinks aren't too expensive and eager looks everywhere. Declined a few tempting offers (just wasn't in the mood) and had a blast fuzzy night. Highly recommended.

One thing is sure about New York, you never know what's around the corner. The last few days were a live demonstration. At work, got an amazing offer from a private company that is willing to double my salary and sponsor an H1 visa if I will join. It's a new company, full of promise, but not a shaky start-up but already holding a very impressive client base. It's also focused on cutting-edge almost futuristic technology that is para-medical yet flexible. Tempting. Next week I'll meet the CEO for dinner and we'll see how things develop. On the personal level met a sexy cute and smart guy who although knowing I have a partner has given himself completely to a steamy affair that rocked the sheets. Ooof. The roller coaster is moving so fast. Also made a few new very promising friends not far from my home mates. Starting to feel more and more at home here. This train is moving so fast I got to hold on tight and hope things are steering at the right direction. It's i...

The last few days were absolutely horrible at work. I overlooked something while analysing a critical clinical database and that resulted in a major mess that required the work of many people deep into the nights and the weekend to correct. A stupid mistake of a trigger-happy newbie . The extra work and tense atmosphere brought about some ugly confrontations with some colleagues and from a shiny fresh face I was instantly turned to the departmental boxing bag. My boss which went well beyond the expected in smoothing the transition to NY and had an open door for me whenever needed suddenly defers to short commanding emails and brief frowns. I am doing my best to amend things, the first in the office and the last to leave every day. I worked on the weekend and cut my breaks to the minimal needed (still got to have a cig here and then). Lucky enough the IT people found a back up and were able to repair the damage, but man how much shit am I eating now. All for a stupid mistake, an o...

A new year is starting soon and I thought a post is in place. Two months passed in NYC, some days were crazy some were calm, some nights peaceful some over exciting. For the first time in my life I find myself dealing on a daily base with intellectual and emotional challenges that can not be over passed with a smile or a a shrug but take all my resources, all the time. The city is amazing, a giant bee hive of constant activity and sometimes I need a quiet corner while other times its a full throttle race. Work is very challenging but I am trying to keep up. There were some highlights and some harder spots but I try to learn from it all. Moving here gave me the opportunity to strengthen old friendships, to make some new great friends and to meet a lot of interesting people and I am starting to feel at home in this strange and wondrous place. In a few weeks my partner from Israel will be joining my little nest on the 20 th floor overlooking the hive downtown. That will make the Gotham e...

The last official weekend of summer. My friend A invited me ( finally !) to join him for a weekend at Fire Island. A little stretch of sand off the shore of Long Island. An hour on the train, then a fab ferry ride and I reached paradise. Large houses on the beach, hot tubs for a late nite soak, a long and clean sandy stretch. And the village where I was staying has all gay population. Cute boys in minimal wear roam the wooden trails winding among the bushes. The housemates were great, the atmosphere relaxed, the waves cool and the wind breezy. It is a sort of Chelsea on the water but much less attitude and a whole lot more drugs. The energy and the vibe cleansed a tough week in the city. Try it for yourself.

Writing is a sort of an addiction, and I am an easy fool for addictions. I am addicted to the wonders of men, to the soft smooth touch of a cool beer, to a breezy cigarette. I tried not blogging and the bug of writing kept nagging at me. Readers emails and comments helped too. Its a real ego soother to know you have some fans. Even if they are scattered in all corners of the globe and have little in common. Even if they don't know who you really are. So two months in the big apple have passed by. Maybe a better term would be flew by. All these cliches about time are so true when one new experience follows the other. Work, work was a breeze at first and now became a major player in my daily life. The casual and carefree Israeli attitude that assumes everything will fall into place and a charming smile will get you out of any trouble does not seem to work in the disciplined and very bureaucratic institute that opened its doors to me. Those great ivory doors that seemed all shiny at f...

Today with the help of two dear buddies and one white car all the particles that make an apartment habitable finally gathered to my new pad. It's a one bedroom on the 20 th floor of a great building, the Manhattan skyline is everywhere . To the south I can see the Chrysler building and the Queensboro bridge, to the north a wide avenue. I am finally a bone fide New Yorker!

Craiglist is the best resource that a newly arrived New Yorker needs. First to find a place to put your weary head at night, then to find stuff to make the bare carpets more hospitable. Scanning the hundreds of daily adds provide a bizarre kind of entertainment and allows to find real bargains on almost everything. Apartments, desks, TVs or Iguanas. Its all there. I found my apartment this way, I also found all the furniture and appliances for ridiculous prices. How about doing it all at under 1000$? Cool. But I also came across some shameless scams that can leave the unsuspected naive with no money and a returned email. The first scam was actually very amusing. A 1 Br apartment in Chelsea, the nicest and gayest part of town, for 1500 $. Nice. I was striking gold here! The story got interesting when the person who responded to my add claimed to be a women living currently in Greece hence not able to show me the place, only photos. Theses were great and I was a newbie . "She...

So the road dust settled and I put my weary feet on the pavements of Gotham. Spent the first two days looking for apartments. Man it's tough here. An overweight sweating broker took me around from one dump to another. We climbed many stairs, knocked on many doors, smelled lots of weird odors. Places advertised as "charming brownstone studio" turned out to be tiny closets with no air and a view to a charming rat infested ally. One bedrooms were actually one bathrooms. I thought 2000$ a month were decent enough budget but the market thinks different. Many apartments later he took me to a third floor cozy place in Hells Kitchen (midtown west for you non-yorkers- Grin:) that actually fit all I wanted. Location, size, AIR CONDITIONING. Only problem was the rent. Sky high. I figured not a whole lot of food is needed for a guy on a slimming diet and paid the deposit. Lucky stars once again, as I got back to my friend's apartment an email was waiting from the hospital. They o...

The hospital sent me my housing allocation today. It's in Manhattan, it's a nice place, kinda pricey. My man R was around when I got the email and saw my enthusiasm. It made him quiet. We watched the silly Eurovision contest on TV and then he went home to sleep, first night we aren't sharing a bed for months. We needed time alone. Only five nights left till my flight. Scanned some Google Earth photos of my new address. New York is so fucking large. I will be joining the ants that walk the streets beneath the glass towers. From being a class A man in my little puddle to a class D alien in a strange ocean. So many little obnoxious thoughts are running through my tired brain. Will the city be my new playground or am I going for basic training boot camp all over again? Tomorrow I start packing.

A particularly nasty article at the NY Post had recently outed Dror Barak , aka Roman Ragazzi , a worker at the Israeli consulate in NY at day and a proud porn star at night . The publicity brought Barak to resign from the consulate. It makes me think of the many guys with decent abs that I have seen enter this money making flesh machine and about the cruel act of outing someone who has done nothing to deserve it. The ultimate gay man's fantasy is to proudly tell his buddies over drinks (martinis?) that he hooked up with a porn star. We all work our butts off to look like one. Those who actually take the dive and shag on camera sometime do it just to prove they can. I have nothing against, heck I wish sometimes I could do it myself. Ho w shallow. All those years of academia that I would trade for a contract with Titan Media . What a strange thing is the ego. As for outing, I believe its justified or even necessary when the outed is actively damaging the gay community and causes....

Almost all the hurdles on the way to Gotham are now removed. Got the work visa, got the approval of the military, got the medical council to agree. Now it's time for the packing and the careful selection of items and objects that will accompany me to the new world. Feels like a 16 th century explorer on a very shaky boat. Anyone got a compass?